Bald: You Just Have To Suck It Up
Bald, as in eagle and shiny head. One is beautiful, the other strikes fear in the heart. I’ll leave it as an exercise for the reader to pick which one is which.
Having a bald head is amazing if you’re a swimmer or hate shopping for hair products. I’m neither, but seem to be dealing with my baldness just fine.
The Hairy Days
I remember having hair as if it were only yesterday. As a kid, my parents let me do whatever the fuck I wanted with my hair. They had bigger fish to fry like keeping me from getting drunk with my uncle. Good times. I had long, wavy hair that was black with a little brown here and there. Chicks dug it. Marine Corps took care of that, but it grew back when I got out. I never grew it really long again though, just kept a nice haircut.
It was the summer of 2005 when my luscious wavy locks started to really thin, right after my second kid was born and I realized this “Daddy Thing” was going to stick and it was nearing time for me to settle into a miserable “low risk” life in a cube.
Summer of 2006. Yes, and incredible 361 days later and my third child was born. A daughter. Sometime after midnight the night of her birth, I heard a little gasp from my scalp, then the sensation of tiny little things releasing and falling to the floor. The top of my head was cleared out like a cattle pasture on the Amazon. Within weeks, what remained went grey. Fuct. I went from looking 41 to 61. Now that I’m 54 I just tell people I’m 64. I look damn good for a 64 year old. On the upside, there are still rocks in the quarry.
The Upside of Being Bald
I’ve also found that being bald is great for people that like to sleep late in the morning; you don’t have to take a shower to get rid of bed head
To be perfectly honest, I’ve not committed to the brotherhood just yet. I’ve got this bozo thing going on because all the barber shops are closed because of the COVID, but that’s cool too. A close clipping is in order.
I also have a beard. At this point it has been two months since I’ve shaved my face. We went camping…